neverenough282

neverenough282 @ 2007-03-07T11:12:00

2007-03-07T18:14:29Z

I'm so confused.
I have no idea why I do these things to myself.
I wake up and just want to die.
My smile hides it. All of it.
If I could go back and do it all over again, I would.
Maybe someday I'll be happy.
Maybe one day the smile will be real.

The Portia de Rossi Diet

2007-02-08T17:16:43Z

During the time when she got really thin on Ally McBeal, this is what her daily regime consisted of:

Food:
lots of sugar-free jello
vegetables
black coffee
cigarettes
chicken
fish

Exercise:
running during her lunch break for an hour
pilates
ciruit training

* would only eat standing up
* never let one type of food mix with other foods

And she got down to 82 pounds! I'm gonna try this for a while and see how it goes :)

Nonconsensual Part 2/3

2006-11-15T07:40:44Z

Title: Nonconsensual (Part 2/3)
Author: neverenough282
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: House/Cameron
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
Author's note: Be gentle, it's my first time! And PLEASE leave feedback :)
Summary: House can't stand to see her hurt like this, and, even if he had no way of showing it, it killed him inside.
** I'd like to thank everyone who commented on the first part and shared their thoughts. I love the feedback! **

It had been almost 2 hours since Cameron had collapsed, and House was trying as hard as he could not to completely lose it. He would like nothing more than to find the guy who did this to her and beat him to a pulp with the tip of his cane, then run his bike over him.

She looked like a porcelain doll lying there, completely helpless and vulnerable. Since Cuddy and Wilson wouldn’t be back until Tuesday, the hospital was a little hectic, and House barking orders at every nurse he saw didn’t help things. Foreman and Chase took turns coming in to check up on her, and would do so until she was released (partially out of friendship, but mostly out of desire to avoid a beating from House).

Nurse Brenda exited the room, and approached House. “She’s stable, and the GHB should be out of her system within 12 hours.”

“Thank you,” he said, realizing it’s the first time he had ever been interested in what was coming out of that woman’s mouth.

Glancing up and down the hall, House walked quitely into Cameron’s room so as not to wake her. He sat down on the chair by her bed, smiling at her, thinking of the old Disney movie Sleeping Beauty; he was the knight who was supposed to wake her with a kiss. Oh god, he thought to himself, when did I become the mushy type?

She heard the familiar sound of beeping machines and intercom pages, and hesitated to open her eyes. She knew where she was, but what the hell had happened? As she adjusted her eyes to the rising sun shining through the window, she felt a weight on her left side, and looking over she saw the infamous tennis shoes rested on her bed, and the rest of her boss was sprawled out in the easy chair by the wall, his mouth slightly parted with the faintest sound of snoring escaping it. Why did this man always seem so irresistible? She shifted slightly, trying not to wake him.

“Scared to wake me up?” She jumped a little, the sound of his voice startling her, and yet calming her at the same time.

“Oh, no, sorry.” She paused. “Um…what…why did I…” she stuttered.

“You collapsed in the hallway about 36 hours ago, and have been unconscious for about the last 18 hours.”

“Oh, okay, um…thank you for being here, really…it helps…”

“Cameron,” he interrupted, “do you remember what happened on Thursday night?”

At first she had no idea what he was talking about, but then it hit her. Oh god, she thought, slowly recalling the events of her “date.”

“I…I was on a date, and the guy…oh god, no…he…he…” she couldn’t finish, and broke down crying, weeping, thinking of what he had done to her.

“Cameron!” shouted House, “Cameron, I need you to tell me his name, what was his name?!”

“He…he threw me on the bed…and…and…” she couldn’t concentrate, and House decided to wait on talking to her. Right now he knew what he had to do, something he had never dreamed of doing, especially in a hospital.

“Come here,” he said, as kindly as he could. He reached out and softly took a hold of her shoulder, bringing her closer to him, trying to be as comforting as he knew how to be. It killed him to see her like this, her eyes red and swollen, her tear-stained cheeks, her delicate frame looking frailer than ever. Her sobs were muffled against his jacket, her body shaking in fear, fueling House’s growing anger towards whoever had caused her this much pain.

Part 1 here...

Nonconsensual Part 1/3

2006-11-08T07:49:43Z

Title: Nonconsensual (Part 1/3)
Author: neverenough282
Rating: PG-13 for language
Pairing: House/Cameron
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
Author's note: Be gentle, it's my first time! And PLEASE leave feedback :)
Summary: House can't stand to see her hurt like this, and, even if he had no way of showing it, it killed him inside.

She hadn’t been on a formal date since before her marriage (she chose not to count that night with House). Butterflies filled her stomach as the doorbell rang. Was she crazy for agreeing to go out with a man she had met only a few days ago, at a bank no less? She decided that it was in her best interest to give this guy a chance. She has almost gotten over House. Almost.

Friday mornings were always a little less hectic at PPTH. Unless House’s team had an unusually tough case, they spent the day covering House’s clinic hours and doing paperwork, while “da man” himself wandered around with Wilson, seizing every chance possible to make a snide remark about Cuddy’s wardrobe. However, this morning was especially boring. Wilson and Cuddy were in New York for the weekend at some board event. Maybe he would hack into Cuddy’s computer and see if they had booked two rooms or just one…

Chase was a bit relieved when he walked in and wasn’t the last to arrive. Foreman had come in right on time, but both were a bit shocked to discover the unmade pot of coffee, and even more shocked when House walked in later. Cameron late? She hadn’t called in yet, but maybe she just had some car trouble.

Cameron wasn’t sure if she was awake or not, but all she could hear was the damn dog next door howling at a siren. God, who makes their dog sleep outside in the freezing cold anyways? Turning over to go back to sleep, she glances at the clock, which reads 9:28. Fuck. Practically leaping out of bed, she saw that the room looked messier than usual. There was a lamp on the floor, and her sheets (and clothes, for that matter) were scattered around the floor. Amazingly, she was able to dress and drive to work before 10:00. What wasn’t quite so amazing was her inability to remember the previous night’s events. She didn’t feel hung over, but something didn’t feel right. Had she really had that much to drink?

When she walked in the hospital, she immediately ran into House. Why did he choose today to start on time?

“So nice of you to grace us with your presence.”

“I was feeling a little sick this morning, but I thought my time would be better spent answering your mail and making you coffee.”

“Ooh, snarky! Rough night?”

Cameron suddenly felt an inexplicable desire to slap him. But at the same time, she wanted to slap herself for not remembering the specifics of her date.

“I need to catch up on some paperwork. Excuse me.”

She sidestepped him and opted for the stairs, as to avoid an elevator confrontation.

Around noon, Chase and Foreman asked her if she wanted to grab something to eat with them. She thought that was sweet of them. They hadn’t gone out as a group in months.

“Let me just take these files to accounting, and then we can all take my car,” she said.

As Chase and Foreman gathered their coats, they heard the sound of papers falling to the floor in the hallway. Looking out the door, they see a huddle of people around a fragile-looking body. Then they see the white of her lab coat.

“She was just walking and all of the sudden collapsed!” yelled a nurse.

An elevator door opened and House limped out, and almost forgot about his leg at the sight of Cameron, lying on the floor, looking so lifeless. He ran to her, holding her head up and checking her pulse. Her heart was still beating, it wasn’t life-threatening. Still, he wasn’t taking any chances.

“Get her into the ICU!” he ordered.

After checking to make sure nothing was wrong with her head or back, Chase picked her up and carried her to the nearest open bed, as the nurses ran to fetch a gurney. House felt a pang of jealousy at the sight of this. He knew Chase thought of Cameron as only a friend, but a part of him longed to be her night-in-shining-armor, and if it wasn’t for his leg, he would scoop her up in a heartbeat.

A few hours later, after House’s team had run almost every test in the book, Foreman noticed something very unsettling in Cameron’s tox screen. He ran to House’s office, almost afraid to deliver the news.

“What did the tests show?” House practically shouted.

Foreman, not wanting to be in the line of fire when the results were delivered, said calmly, “Her condition is improving, and she should be awake within the hour…”

“WHAT DID THE TESTS SHOW?”

“She has a dangerously high amount of gamma hydroxy butyrate in her system.”

“No, that can’t be it. Run them again.”

“House, she was raped.”

Author’s note: gamma hydroxy butyrate- “the date rape drug”

Should I continue?

neverenough282
Rating:

REASONS TO BE THIN:

2006-10-06T22:22:49Z

To look like a model
To wear clothes from expensive stores from the Mall
To make my ex want me
To look good during sex
To wear a bikini
To make girls envious
To wear tight jeans
To not be embarrassed about numbers on the scale
To look good while dancing
To wear small clothes
To be totally hot
To look fit, lean
To look good when exercising
To be able to wear cute lingerie
To make my breasts/butt/thighs smaller
To look great in pictures
To wear a low cut sweater and see collarbones
To make my back stop hurting
To look good on vacation
To look good with a tattoo/piercing
To look good when old friends see me
To not want so much food
To not feel fat or ugly
To live an active lifestyle
To complete other things than just eat
To look sophisticated
To be the one everyone wants to know/be
To be in control
To not worry about looking fat around family
To be able to be carried/lifted like a feather.